One year ago today, my husband was knocking at death’s door. He and I don’t like to say those words, but, fact is – that’s where we were at. In the wee hours of the morning on March 13th, 2017, we met Wyatt, Amy, and our family members at CMC Medical Center so that this perfect on paper, on blood work, and most importantly, in our hearts, kidney donor match could undergo a kidney transplant. After goodbye kisses, these brothers were sent back to undergo the kidney transplant.
Countless hours of waiting later, holding Amy’s hand, praying with church members, family, friends, doctors and nurses, the surgeon came out and told us the transplant was successful. I can’t even begin to put in to words the fear, the joy, the rollercoaster of emotions I (and all friends and family with us and not with us) felt while waiting for Noah in that waiting room. These were some of our darkest, yet most joyful, hours we have ever experienced. I was fearful, and I was hopeful. I was angry, and I was happy. I was sad, and I was glad. I was confused, and I was certain. I questioned, and I had faith. And, I wouldn’t have wanted to experience this time with anyone but the Bardi Family.
Having a chronic illness and a husband with a chronic illness is challenging. There are daily struggles we don’t discuss that just the two of us share. There are uncertainties, even post-transplant, that have knocked us to our knees in fear – and even more so, to prayer. Fear, anxiety, hope, joy – all these emotions – we have felt and feel with each blood test, work up, and doctor visit. Our flesh fails us, but OUR GOD DOES NOT.
I look back at the last few years leading up to and post transplant, and I can’t deny the complete goodness and provision of God. While looking at one piece of the puzzle in our waiting phases, in brief moments of time (that somehow felt like an eternity), it was so difficult to see the big picture. But, that big picture, that beautiful, perfectly designed puzzle was created long before we knew. All God asked was that we trust Him, and He’d fit it together for us so intricately, so perfectly beyond what we could have ever fathomed.
Things aren’t perfect; this transplant is not and was never intended to be a cure. It’s a temporary, but VITAL means of life support for Noah. We’ve been through more hurdles this past year, from diagnosis of acute rejection to recurrence to “hold on we’re ok right now, we don’t need chemo yet.” I’ve learned more medical terminology and things about kidneys and organs and life than I ever fathomed – and I still don’t have it all perfectly figured out. And with each bit of knowledge, with each test result, I’m reminded of the uncertainty of life, but the certainty of WHO CREATED IT.
Our road won’t be easy. But it’s worth it. Each day is a gift, and God has stripped us of “worldly” certainty, but assured us of eternity. We are so thankful for each moment, each day we spend together. And we are so THANKFUL for Wyatt for giving Noah that vital piece to give us another day, another hour, another minute together. Another minute to glorify. Another minute to praise. Another minute to fulfill God’s purpose.
We are so imperfect. We are so undeserving. But we trust, we persevere, we have faith. We have learned so much about that little five letter word (f-a-i-t-h) over this last year and hold it so dearly. How undeserving and how special, what a story of redemption we’ve undergone.
God’s still writing; God’s not done yet.
Wyatt and Amy, thank you for opening your hearts to such an incredible calling that saved my husband’s life. We love you more than we can put into words. Here’s to one long and difficult, but short and incredible year of being our family and a lifetime to go… We love you.
BUT JESUS SAID, “WHAT IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH MAN IS POSSIBLE WITH GOD.”
Wyatt and Noah, “The Kidney Brothers,” the morning of the transplant one year ago today (March 14, 2017).